Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
