I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
