If i come over, it means nothing
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
