i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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