I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
