Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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