Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
