Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
