How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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