I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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