I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
