Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
