i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just gift wrapped bread.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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