Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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