i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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