I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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