belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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