I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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