sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
