I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
