its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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