We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
