you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
