My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
