i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
