i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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