yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My vagina just recognized that song.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
