As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Life is so much better after having sex.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
