hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
