you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
