its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
