So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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