I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
