he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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