You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
