On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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