you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
