Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
