It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
