I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
