I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
