You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
