yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
