Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
