If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
