He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
