Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
