A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We have so much sex to catch up on
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
