oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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