i think i have herpe
just one?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
