hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
