Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
